There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
