Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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