he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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