your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
