I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
