i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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