I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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