i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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