I have demons in me.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
