the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
