Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
