fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
