I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
