Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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