her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
