Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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