If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize