doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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