Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
