glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
