R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
