why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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