we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
