PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
