I'm drive I can fine osifer
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
