Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
