You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
