This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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