I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
