Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You are a booty call, not a friend.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
