HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
