dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
