Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
