If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
