can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
