yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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