So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
