Can Purell be used as lube?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
