Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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