Me. At least after what I've been through.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
