Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
