dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
