I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize