Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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