so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
