I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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