After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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