Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
