So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
