32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
