How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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