There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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