so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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