Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
