At least make sure they are 18
Why
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
