I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
