We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
