I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
