Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
