If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
