ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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