Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
