i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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