haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
