ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You made out with two different species that night
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
